...
Okay... Not that I'm not aware of the changes Astro has made to its channel numbers but... Not until yesterday night that I felt how chaotic it is, for me at the very least.
Skip this: -
RTM 1
- Formerly 1
- Now 101
- Now 101
RTM 2
- Formerly 2
- Now 102
TV3
- Formerly 3
- Now 103
Astro Ria
- Formerly 4
- Now 104
Arab Radio & TV Variety (ART)
- Formerly 5
- Now 111
Astro Vaanavil
- Formerly 6
- Now 201
NTV 7
- Formerly 7
- Now 107
Astro Prima
- Formerly 8
- Now 105
Astro ARUNA
- Formerly 9
- Now 121
Hallmark Channel
- Formerly 10
- Now 702
Discovery Travel & Living
- Formerly 11
- Now 707
Bloomberg Television
- Formerly 12
- Now 519
NHK World
- Formerly 13
- Now 963
TVIQ
- Formerly 14
- Now 552
Astro@15
- Formerly 15
- Now 109
Astro HITZ.TV
- Formerly 16
- Now 705
AXN
- Formerly 17
- Now 701
8 TV
- Formerly 18
- Now 708
Astro AEC
- Formerly 19
- Now 301
Al Jazeera English
- Formerly 20
- Now 513
Zee
- Formerly 21
- Now 108
TV 9
- Formerly 22
- Now 119
Astro KIRANA
- Formerly 23
- Now 122
Astro Ceria
- Formerly 24
- Now 611
Animax
- Formerly 25
- Now 715
BBC Entertainment
- Formerly 26
- Now 731
ETTV Asia
- Formerly 27
- Now 316
CCTV 4
- Formerly 28
- Now 334
WaTV
- Formerly 29
- Now 315
Astro Wah Lai Toi
- Formerly 30
- Now 311
TVBS Asia
- Formerly 31
- Now 317
Phoenix Chinese Channel
- Formerly 32
- Now 312
TVB 8
- Formerly 33
- Now 313
TVB Xing He
- Formerly 34
- Now 314
Jia Yu Channel
- Formerly 35
- Now 304
Astro On Demand Drama Barker
- Formerly 36
- Now 302
Phoenix InfoNews Channel
- Formerly 37
- Now 323
Shuang Xing
- Formerly 38
- Now 324
Celestial Movies
- Formerly 39
- Now 322
HBO
- Formerly 40
- Now 411
Cinemax
- Formerly 41
- Now 412
STAR Movies
- Formerly 42
- Now 413
Astro BoxOffice Movies
- Formerly 48
- Now 951
Astro BoxOffice Movies
- Formerly 49
- Now 952
Discovery Channel
- Formerly 50
- Now 551
Animal Planet
- Formerly 51
- Now 556
National Geographic Channel
- Formerly 52
- Now 553
Discovery Science
- Formerly 53
- Now 554
The History Channel
- Formerly 54
- Now 555
Nickelodeon
- Formerly 60
- Now 612
Disney Channel
- Formerly 61
- Now 615
Cartoon Network
- Formerly 62
- Now 616
Playhouse Disney Channel
- Formerly 63
- Now 613
STAR World
- Formerly 70
- Now 711
MTV
- Formerly 71
- Now 713
Channel [V]
- Formerly 72
- Now 714
Sun TV
- Formerly 73
- Now 211
Astro Vellithirai
- Formerly 74
- Now 202
Sun Music
- Formerly 75
- Now 212
E!
- Formerly 76
- Now 712
Discovery Home & Health
- Formerly 77
- Now 733
Discovery Real Time
- Formerly 78
- Now 734
Crime & Investigation Network
- Formerly 79
- Now 732
Astro Supersport
- Formerly 80
- Now 811
ESPN
- Formerly 81
- Now 812
STAR Sports
- Formerly 82
- Now 813
Golf Channel
- Formerly 83
- Now 815
Eurosport
- Formerly 84
- Now 814
Astro BoxOffice Sports
- Formerly 88
- Now 954
Astro BoxOffice Events
- Formerly 89
- Now 953
CNN
- Formerly 90
- Now 511
CNBC Asia
- Formerly 91
- Now 518
The News Channel
- Formerly 92
- Now 514
BBC World
- Formerly 93
- Now 512
CCTV9
- Formerly 94
- Now 501
17 Digital Radio Channels
- Formerly 101-117
- Now 852-868
astro@play
- Formerly 200
- Now 882
ITV
- Formerly 800
- Now 881
Astro Stocklink
- Formerly 888
- Now 888
Astro OASIS
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 106
Astro On Demand Movie Barker
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 110
Astro AWANI
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 123
Chutti TV
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 213
Makkal TV
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 203
KBS World
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 303
Astro Xiao Tai Yang
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 325
Astro HUA HEE DAI
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 333
Asian Food Channel
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 703
Christ... 109 of them... 99 changes... and Astro expect us to "get use to" these flashy new 99 numbers...
Why? Okay let's put it this way. I seldom watch TV, but not that I'm blur about every happenings regarding TVs and channels, in this case, Astro. At first glance I thought this changes is made up by some freaking geniuses at the Astro HQ and "it is suppose to make our life easier".
...
Heck, not only we "press more" now (three digits instead of the usual two), not only our buttons and remote controller wears out faster (...), not only has it increases the "risk"/probability that we'd input wrong channel numbers because of the increased digits, not only our precious AA batteries wear out faster because of the increased digits we have to input and the increased mistakes we'd make that we have to press again and again (bla bla bla), IN FACT I don't mind all these! IF, the changes made would have benefit the users "in some way".
In the olden days when we first got our brand new Astro I could get use to the controlling schemes pretty quickly, in fact I've "mastered" Astro even faster than my dad. I knew thoroughly every features in Astro and I was managed to tweak in-and-out of Astro, from Channel Guide to Info to Menu... (hey it was pretty fascinating for a kid with the age of 9 to do just that yea), sometimes even my dad had to ask me for help.
But guess what I get now? The moment I got my hands on the remote controller I started to feel like I was a total idiot or some outdated "oyaji", for I didn't know what to press on the controller for the very first time of my life =_=. First I wanted to watch Wah Lai Toi, and of course I didn't get what I wanted for the first try. Then I tried Animax, and it was no where to be found (despite the fact that I didn't want to resort to the "ok" button and the Channel Guide database, I wanted a pure input of numbers with the controller)!
Gross... At last I gave up and decided to have a look at the brochure (the photos I enclosed above). And to my farting surprise I found no reason for the authority to have actually reorganized the channel numbers cause although it makes sense, but it confuses me more than it convinces me that they have made the right decision (don't know about you guys, but for me, certainly).
Using my "Extraordinary-Inaccurate-Induction-Ability" a.k.a. "EIIA~!", I have broken down the channel categories into X groups based on their "profound reinvention": -
1
- For unspecified and unknown and I-don't-want-to-know reasons Astro has assigned the value "1" for all Malaysian-based channels, such as RTMs and ntv7 all those. Was it that they accepted bribe from Mr. Patriot or they were trying to "flatter" Malaysian or whether they were showing their patriotism, you wouldn't want to know.
2
- The only changes Astro made onto its channel displacement that I LOVE is this. Astro has WISELY collected all Tamil channels under one number, "2". This is good for me as I would just have to avoid pressing it in any cases for I won't bump into any of these ever again. BUT THEN, why would they choose "2", please la get a worse number la, "2" is too good for this =.= (no offense to Indians).
3
- The evilish number, the number that once conquered Malaysian Chinese for years. This number has been assigned to all of the Chinese channels.
4
- The first number that is assigned not based on languages, the number "4" has been assigned to all movie channels. Why "4"? Beats me.
5
- Things starting to get messy here. At first glance this number is obviously chosen for all of the news channels but why the fart I get Discovery Channel, TVIQ, National Geographic, Discovery Science, The History Channel, and Animal Planet here!!?? Shall I call this a collection of news channels or documentary channels? I'll never know.
6
- All kids channels are here, simple and clean.
7
- Another bizarre mix-match of channels. I have given up on thinking for a "category" for this collection of channels after cycling through "Entertainment" and "Documentary" because I just couldn't find a clear similarity among those channels. What do you get when you cross AXN with Discovery Travel and Living and MTV with Crime & Investigation channel??? "Nasi Campur" channels I'd say.
8
- Sports lovers' lucky number. But beware not to bump into Radio channels, Game channel, and the Astro Stocklink channel as they are all preceded with this number too. Which explains why this is another poorly organized rubbish collection...
9
- The last on the list... And the number that puzzles me most. I couldn't get a farting idea what is this number for as I could only see "ABO" everywhere (which stands for Astro Box Office, with various content categories, including Movies, Events, and Sports). But just the moment before I wanted to assign a group name "ABO" for this number... I saw NHK World (a Japanese channel) on the list... Almost immediately I bit my thumb off, sucked my own toe, scratched my head into a bloody pool of question marks, screamed myself to heaven, and declared this groupd a "ABC" instead of the "ABO", they are Air Batu Campur for Christ's sake!!!
When I had a go-through on what has actually gone wrong approaching to the end of the list (when things are getting "disasterrific" as the number increases), I suddenly realized the answer. Why is this happening? Why are the channels which are not supposingly in the same group/category with others are grouped together? This is simply because we human has only created 10 Roman numbers, from 0 to 9. And it doesn't make sense if any of the channel starts with a "0" so Astro has been chopped down to 9 numbers as their choices. In this case they have only managed to group channels into 9 and any further in-depth grouping would require the users to input 4-digits channel numbers. What does that sound to you? It sure sounds like "fart" to me =_=. And this explains why the channels grouping was getting bizzare approaching the last number on the list, hope you get what I mean.
So after all the crapping, the conclusion? They should have stick to their 2-digits system, that's what I think. At the very least, I don't like it, the "evolutionary system". How about you?
On second thought, if I were to group channel numbers, I'd put like, "8" for the so-called "Entertainment News Channels" (ahem, I call them the Gossipers Channels), "3" for Malaysian channels ("m"), and perhaps "69" for adult channels, if there are any.
Note: The above entry is written wholly based on individual's views/perception/feeling/opinion/crap'sion, and is not meant to flame any particular broadcasting company/race/person as it seems. Any likeliness is simply a mere coincidence and the author would not take any responsibility for what I've said/written/crapped about, please proceed with caution and consider a thousand times before you pick up your phone and call Karpal Singh.
11 comments:
Hohoho ... want to be on the safe side huh =.="
N you very free izit write all the channels out =.=""
Although u din watch tamil channel doesnt mean they dun deserve number 2 la ... dun discriminate la this is Malaysia ok? nt China or HK. How would u feel if an indian said that chinese channel doesnt deserve 3 but 7 or 9 instead (i know u would say u dun care or watever .. so forget bout it =.=)
OMG u really outdated =.= astro announced it like one month earlier before they changed it on newspaper, channel guide and even on astro itself ... so it is very unlikely you din glance tru any of them =.=
N btw one month after they change onli u notice? -.- indeed a oyajisan you're at home 7 days a week oso din see any changes on the number yr family member pressed. I'm onli home 2 n the half day n i knew =.= ... proven u din watch tv one month liao Zzzzzzz
Well at least i know animax is 715 =.= others? just press ok la swt ... pemalas betul. Well, i did press it wrongly so many times =.=
Astro is expanding their channel, so they made an early move to reorganize all the channels so they can slot n anymore new channels later easily. U think they do for your comfort? They better think how to earn more by making more channel le =.= ... Like they care how irritating ppl will be to press 3 numbers ..
And yes some numbers r rojak because 9 nuber is not enuf to categorized them all one by one.
No offense though, to be on the safe side too ...
I'm kinda on the fence on this one. On one hand, I feel that Astro has catogorised the channels more comprehensively. Unlike you, I think I know what to label channels under the number 7. Its contemporary entertainment. You know, the hippest music videos, the latest entertainment gossips, the top hits, the most popular reality tv shows(which are all the rage now although, the apprentice notwithstanding, I find them all fucking stupid and retarded), you know, whats cool and 'in' nowadays and what normal, Malaysian TV-bred people normally care about.
On the other hand, I find that having to press 3 buttons to access every channel is fucking stupid. For reasons you stated, and for the fact that common logic would tell you that 3 is bigger than 2 and 1 and therefore, a bigger hassle, which is kinda counter-productive (can't find a better adjective in my retarded and limited vocabulary) considering that the changes were made to make assessing channels more convenient and easy.
"2", considering the ratio of population of Chinese to Indian (leave out the Malays), is it not clear that us, the dragons, occupies more? I was not trying to be bias or trying to be a racist here but I was just stating the fact. If you have more Chinese than Indian, shouldn't you give more priority for the Chinese channels instead of the Tamils? Though it's just a tiny matter regarding the sequence of numbering so we shouldn't really mind about it, was just stating an example.
Okay, if it's not clear enough. Let's put it this way, suppose that there exists two races here in Malaysia, one race that only watches Educational programs, and the other that only watches porns. Suppose that the Porno clan consists of only 2 people, while the Geeko clan consists of 2000 people, should the government air porns more than educational programs 24/7? Get it? And again, just a tiny matter, no argue XD.
Yang Guo, so is it now appropriate that I label the category "7" as the "Most Hip of Malaysian Channels"???
I dun find it much different to press 2 or 3 =.= its still a digit next to each other anyway ... n hey 3 is at the corner its easier to press =.=
haha, call em hip channels i guess....
oh ya axn also got the latest tv series but i digress. Hip would be appropriate 4 all the channels under the number 7 but for animax. I think anime ain't exactly hip anyway. Its otaku obsession, not sumting you'd normally talk about with a stranger while taking public transport innit?
That's why I said it is a total mess! XD
not sumting you'd normally talk about with a stranger while taking public transport innit? >>> Seriously you would never know ...
Well more unlikely topic than Britney Spears definitely XD
(Shack's taking Rapid KL to... KL, where else?)
"Yo, Britney Spear's darn horny, don't you think so?" - Stranger Gamma
"... Who? Brad Pitt's Spear's darn horny?" - Shack
Who the heck is Britney Spear???
Some human la
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