It's a plane! It's a bird! No! It's an update!!! O_O!

First of all I would like to apologize for the lack of updates of my site... You see things are pretty much fcuked up lately and my life sucks big time. Aside from some frequent extreme mood swing throughout the weeks I have also ruined every single test that I've sat for. Again nobody should be blamed except myself (of course). On side note, I'm thinking of changing course after this semester, but that's still a questionable decision depending on how I fare in the coming final weeks later (which I think I will screw it better than any screwdriver does...).

Which course? *shakes head* Ah ah... I have no idea. But then for sure it would be something Arts and Social related, perhaps language too (but no literature please!!! Fcuk thyself in heaven Shakespeare). No more science, no more maths, no more accounting! But hey does this kinda shit even existed? (=_=) It would be hell lotta nicer if I can get such a course, no Binomial craps no Einstein'ish theories no Balance-Shits or whatsoever rubbish. On the dark side though, things aren't as simple as they seem. You know what? You can't simply change course as you wish, no not for some laid back poor scumbag like myself. Money is the first issue (I'm still thinking about that), family's faith is the second. Imagine how things would turn out if you tell your parents "I want to change course, I found that this course doesn't suit me that well after all." after they have spent 10k on you for two semesters... trust me things will get ugly. In case of worst scenario, I will consider working for a while first to earn enough money for me to continue my studies.

So, what have I been up to lately? There is an old saying, "Guys' problems can only either be financial problem or relationship problem". And guess what, I hit the jackpot, I have both! But then, not something I would like to talk about here... Let's check out something else exciting (to me, it is), I just got myself an axe!!! ^.^ Oops I mean an electric guitar~






I'm not gonna list out the specs of this axe here since I don't think any of you would get it anyway (besides Yang Guo), but if you are really interested, you can check Yang Guo's entry on his Big Wooden Plank of Kick-Assery here. (Yea we were actually gay enough to get the same guitar, but his is a lefty version)

I've done classical guitar before but I think I still have hell lot to learn since I last picked up a guitar years ago. And yes we've decided to form a band (that's in the long run and it's still a blur concept). Notify me if you are/your friends are interested in band forming, especially bassists and drummers (we could really use these two), thanks!

This rounds up my recent life pretty well and sorry again for the long post. Great thanks to those of you who worried about me (if there is any). The only thing I can say for now is that I've decided to pick up and start moving again, searching around in my life for the lost pieces of me :) I should say that I'm fine now (think so). Expect more frequent update on my site from now on (before the next breakdown happens, you know, mood swing happens). Happy living~

(Oh by the way, since almost every guitarist names their guitar, mine has a name too. I named it Shirley xD It's my first guitar ever, something like my first crush perhaps.)

They ain't no Superman's, but they can do anything

Had a short chat during dinner not long ago. We talked about the major election coming and one more thing, thievery.

If you hadn't knew, my dad works as a air-cond technician. He told me that days ago he went to a kindergarten at XXX to fix something, and it somehow "fascinated" me because that kindergarten has lost two of its compressors (outdoor units of the air-cond system), for the second time. And it even "amazed" me when it was revealed that this has been happening at that area for a long time now and many houses have lost their compressors too.


I said, "Lock it, in a cage if necessary."

My grandpa said, "It's useless, if the thieves want to steal something, they will get it somehow. Lock it? They would just saw it then."

I thought what my grandpa said was correct, bloody correct indeed!

Then my dad said, "Remember that renown car that rolled out years ago? Which they'd integrate the whatever fingerprint scanner in it? So that the only person who can unlock the car is the owner itself? You know what happened then?"

?

Me, "What? They cut the owners' fingers?"

Dad, "Duh."

!

(So they would just dig your eyes out when they rolled out another new model which uses retinal scanner?)

Zzz

"Then the manufacturing of that car discontinued, and it happened not long after it was launched, thieves these days..."

Mum, "Yea, and be careful with ATM cards too..."

Me, "What? Don't they have a standard limit to how much you could withdraw in a single day? And I thought the users can set it?"

Dad, "What? You kidding? In A DAY? How about this, how about they lock you up for days, then withdraw day by day?"

...

Seriously...

Me, "So how about the compressors? Any counter-measure?"

Dad, "What? What can you do besides letting them have it? Remember what I said justnow?They will always get what they want."

...

So like, if you want to keep your cars or compressors or ATM cards away from thieves, I'd say


Unless those thieves can get their hands on nuclear, I bet you could keep them safe under my care.

Health Minister at his best

It's on the news, it's on the radio, it's on TV, it plagues everyone's mind (especially Chinese); I know I know, our Health Hell Minister might just wanted to show us how "healthy" he is, but... through that?

Alright if you were to ask my opinion on this whole affair I'd say "Even the movie star itself has got nothing much to comment on the tape distributed and resigned without even cared to crap much about it, what am I to comment anything on it?".
But I'm gonna say this, "Politicians are the political tools themselves, they simply utilize each other, so who's the real winner in the end?" --- ME. (BLUEK~)

Oh come on the whole thing itself is a joke! What more can we say? Come on laugh all you can! It's just another bloody lame joke by Malaysians. Laugh while you can, cause another big fat lame joke is approaching - The Erection Election.

Somehow... When I read about this news and saw Datuk Chua's face, it reminds me of this movie...


And SOMEHOW in my dirty mind I started to think the other way




Paint'ing is really a paint in the arse (fonts are still okay, but Chua's head... -.-"), I shall start learning Photoshop.

Looking back

About 2 hours into the year 2008, while everyone (mostly) was practically out for the rest of the day and most probably gonna breathe their last breaths of the year 2007 somewhere out there, perhaps at the city square or anywhere where thousands and thousands of people gonna squeeze themselves into sardine for the sake of cow-down and oops I mean countdown; while me myself as you can see is still stuck in the house alone. Yes, alone. Sometimes, it's nice to be alone.

Well not that I'm an absolute misanthrope but it's just that I've never been good with crowds (and never been good with those sardine-squeezing events), especially strangers. I did receive invitation to party but I scratched it, just didn't feel like it at all. Just a few moments ago I was still in that middle of a mini party organized by my parents' friends and whatever, I walked home alone right after I have finished my meal. Perhaps my mum was right, I need to behave better than this. It's like, even those "seniors" have had to greet me first before I would greet them (it's a well-known tradition in Chinese community that youngsters should greet their seniors first). Yes, everyone started to label me as an "odd" appearance and some sort of Ah Beng or gangster with no sense of politeness at all, and yes I know that, and why should I even care? (My mum and dad scolded, she said "no, you must care!" - bla)

Oh heck it's New Year! Why am I here keep blabbering about how I behaved. I shall start doing what I'm here for.

Let's conclude my days before this, let's see... (not in chronological order)

1) As mentioned, my evilness and stubbornness have definitely worsen throughout the years.

2) I have broken my record for ice-cream consumption this year.

3) I have broken my record for Fastest Mine Sweepers and obtained best time so far and 111 seconds in Expert mode concluded my minesweeping career for the year 2007.

4) I think I've lost a few friends this year.

5) And I gained a few new friends this year.

6) I fell in love for the first time. (alright I know it's super unusual and unlikely to link that word with me)

7) And of course, fell into hell right after that, as expected.

8) I fell from a 7 feet-high staircase and hit jackpot on my back waist, for the bloody first time, and it's a painful first time (no dirty thoughts)

9) Fell sick for several months, definitely a broken record.

10) I have achieved zero-hostility this year, definitely a thing to be proud of.

11) Went to a concert for the first time.

12) Finally understand what's a God like.

13) Went to a Comic Fiesta and see cosplay for the first time.

14) Increased my hatred towards cigarettes and smokers.

15) Contrastively, increased my interest in alcohol. (okay I know drinking is never a good thing to do, and don't you worry, I still have not touched any beer so far :))

16) Committed the most serious crime in my life so far, that having downloaded SO MANY songs.

17) Got the worst examination result in my life.

18) Watched the most anime.

19) Got my very first laptop/computer, and I had to pay for it myself =_=.

20) Got my very first handphone which is paid by my parents.

21) Celebrated my birthday for the first time and got my very first birthday present (tangible) from friends in my life, I'm serious.

22) Regained contact with an old friend/kiddo-enemy, but lost contact after a few days. Definitely the first of its kind in my life.

23) Skipped classes and circled around Subang Jaya looking for nice wheels, and seen that much of nice cars for the first time in my life.

24) Decided to stop eating ice-cream, chocolate, fried food, and spicy food for the first time.

25) And doubt I'll keep that habit in the following year, for the first time.

26) Did lots of silly things which I would not tell, for the first time.

27) Knowing Kenny Sia the ultimate blogger, for the first time (yes I know I'm snail'ly-turtle'ly-slowpoke'ly slow, oh come on...)

28) Having blogging for nine months (and understand what blogging's like for the first time), and achieved 3k+ hits, you guys serious? O.O

29) Played the least games.

30) Spoiled my very first MP3 player's earphone for the first time.

31) Casted my interest in English songs for the very first time in my life, thanks to Avril Lavigne.

32) Lost my interest in Chinese songs for the very first time, thanks to nobody.

33) Casted my interest in Metal and Punk Rock. And special thanks to Ellegarden.

34) Casted my interest in learning guitar, thanks to The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and Aya Hirano. (Alright I know this is stupid)

35) Officially worked part-time as permitted by parents for the first time (I did that secretly before this).

36) Opened personal bank account for the first time, and who knows why I need two.

37) Changed my 4-years-old spectacles.

38) Never felt lonelier than this year.

39) Ends my blogging in 2007 with 92 glorious entries in total.



Well, guess I'll be spending my New Year eve with my bed. For those of you who enjoyed your cow-down, and also those of you who couldn't spend this special moment with anyone at all just like me, Happy New Year. Let us embrace everything new in the coming year, and let us continue our suffer together. :)


Life's what living for, who knows what could happen, do what you do, just keep on laughing. One thing's true, there's always brand new day. Adios.

More exclusive footage

Sorry I still couldn't get enough of MCR...

(Back to America)

Mr. President: It's been a long time boys, so how was the tour?

Gerard: Overall okay, The people were crazed about us back then. It was really a big fuss.

Mikey: It's not okay at all! And there’s these terrors and its like... it feels like if somebody was gripping my... and these terrors... and it feels like... and it feels like if somebody was gripping my throat, tremors? They're not tremors they're worse than tremors... they're... they're these terrors... They're not tremors they're worse than tremors... they're... they're these terrors... and it feels like if somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing... and... and it feel like if somebody was gripping...

Gerard: Enough Mikey, just sleep.

Mikey: Haiz...

Mr. President: What is it? What is wrong with him?

Gerard: Oh, it's just that... That Black Parade Tour at Malaysia was an awful one... Not only I caught a sore throat after dining in their local restaurant, but my brother also caught some kinda trauma there... Because of some lame instructions by the organizer.

Mr. President: Huh?

Gerard: We were not allow to fcuk. I mean, we must not fcuk in Malaysia, they wouldn't like it. We were only allowed to eff.

Mr. President: Hah, that's horrible.

Gerard: And one thing, after this concert I have also learnt that Malaysian are not used to Encore. It's really strange that there was no encore unlike in other countries back then. I'm kinda pissed, frankly.

Mikey: No bro, there was one.

Gerard: Huh?

Mikey: Yeah, there was this wicked soul, shouting alone at the Blue Zone. I don't know about you guys, but I heard it. I'm not sure who he was but there was this "zLz" thingy imprinted on his forehead. But after he shouted for a while, he was not amused by the fact that he was the only one asking for encore, and he shut up afterwards, looking extremely embarrassingly.

Gerard: I see... But back then I only heard some noobs shouting "We want more!". Oh well, I'm just so not use to this Malaysian culture thingy.

(End)

Okay, that particular "Encore" part is true, I really did that I tell you =.= And what the eff is with Malaysian? Did they all go through concerts without encoring at all? It wouldn't hurt to put your eff-fing expensive tickets to a little more than it's worthed you know. HAIH...

Note: That Mikey's reply was extracted from the song Sleep, which Gerard wrote for his dear brother who couldn't sleep at nights due to the pressure in producing the album The Black Parade.

Extreme long coverage of MCR Black Parade Tour Stadium Merdeka including exclusive footage here at zLz's Crapping Space

Nasi lemak, gigantic speakers, crowds, sweat, rain, among all the things you'd expect from a concert, at least this is how it was like at My Chemical Romance's The Black Parade Tour 2007 at Malaysia, if not all. Right even before the night of the real thing comes up, my little weak (wicked) heart couldn't contain them all - the excitement of hanging out with my dear friends, the excitement of meeting MCR, the excitement of jumping around (it has been a while since I jumped around like nuts, in public) and the excitement of singing screaming along "MAMA WE ALL GO TO HELL!" with MCR and all the lovely fans of them.

Okay, enough with the bullshyt of how I felt, maybe I should elaborate more on the concert itself. We went to Stadium Merdeka on foot right from Sungei Wang, and it is located near my secondary school, MBSSKL. Oh well, since walking for a long distance is no new thing to us MBS'ians (I mean, you guys used to walk from school all the way to Sungei Wang, Low Yatt, Times Square and who-knows-whereelse to do stuff I-don't-know everyday right?), so it was an easy task all right especially with the cloudy day and crappings with two malatlou's. But due to some unwanted circumstances (ahem, someone spent a-quarter-of-my-lifetime to finish just one simple plate of chicken chest at KFC, despite dubbing himself a proud member of the Chest Club in TARC. Oh, did you say "helper"?), we were late. Yes! Late for a holy-mother-eff-fing-band's concert!

But as we all know, when we say the concert starts at 6:30 p.m., it actually means 7:30 or even 8:00 p.m. in Malaysian context (at least I thought so). So actually it was no big deal at all, we could even spent some time browsing through those self-proclaimed MCR merchandise those Malays selling along the road, and got ourselves a T-shirt each (heck, I got myself a pretty cool one, at least I think so). There were people selling food, refreshments, shirts, posters, car stickers, and even some I-don't-know-what-you-call-but-they-are-to-be-hung-on-your
-neck kinda tags with cool MCR group photo in them. Oh, and there were people promoting Celcom X-Pax too, too bad I was there solely for the concert, not to X.

Being the first time attending such event, not to mention the first time in such a freaking awesome band's concert, but also the first time squeezing along with several thousands of people. I mean, TEN THOUSANDS of people. Though I have been to similar events too but those were not as *doot* (I don't know what word to use here) as this one. One of the things that we could noticed about this concert was most of the audience wore black T, and some even changed with the shirts they bought on the spot (semangat gila). Among the thousands there was this young fellow, who ignored the coolness of wearing black shirts as to cope with the tour's theme, wore a freaking uncool Kemeja T PUTIH dengan buttons dengan blue stripes dengan dengan... ugh @.@ I mean, whatever, you rocks, B. Okay la I know I didn't wear black shirt also but at least I wore a deep brown alright, I don't have black lar. Oh, and I really agreed with Yang Guo that, most of the fans here are Malays. I seriously wonder why.

You never see Leng Chai. THIS, is a leng chai, and lived his whole yesterday the most leng chai in his life. Introducing, the *infamous* Mr. Yang Guo!

To the concert itself. As I've never really been to such big event (concert) at all, I actually did not expect we were to stand in the middle of the field (okay Yang Guo I am NOT blaming you alright). Generally, there were four zones in total, namely the Red Zone (free standing), Yellow Zone (free standing), Blue Zone (free standing), and Green Zone (free seating). We bought the tickets for Blue Zone, though I hate to admit it, but yes it was the second farthest from the stage itself, second farthest from that godlike MCR bunch damn it! Basically, you just squeeze all you can to the frontest area (though we never did that, no I wouldn't risk my tiny body doing so).



After warming up by two awesome local bands (yes, they were awesome, though I used to think local bands are awful, pardon the pun), namely One Buck Short (you need my help?) and Pop Shuvit, MCR finally came out after a freaking long wait, but the wait was worth it. Greeted with a "F.U.C.K." (I'm serious) by Gerard, the real deal kicked off. Bob (the drummer) couldn't attend the concert for whatever reason, and the drummer role was took over by a guy I-forgot-what-name from a band named Thursday. Oh well, it doesn't matter much who they use for drummer so as long as Ray Toro is in for the guitar (hehe, sorry, all drummers sounded the same to me, as long as they are pro and know how to play, they sounded the same to me - they all sounded awesome).

As for the highlights of the night, it was no surprise that the fans got high when MCR performed the songs Mama, I Don't Love You, Helena, Welcome to The Black Parade, Teenagers (a HUGE KICKASS publicity of this song in Malaysia, so if you're a MCR fan and don't know this song at all, you know what to do), This Is How I Disappear, Cancer, Dead!, and Famous Last Words, among all. The feeling of having ten thousands people singing together and waving or jumping along was... you'll have to try it yourself. Still couldn't get enough with that "I am not afraid to keep on living, I am not afraid to walk this world alone"~ WOO!

A few interesting reality check on the concert was - I was surprised that they actually prepared "portable toilets" in the field, aiya I forgot to snap a photo of it. And I think that Gerard sure has eaten some Nasi Lemak before the concert because he sounded exactly like zLz was forced to some shyt of karaoke and got stuck the mic into his mouth and was threaten to sing 夜来香 in super high pitch, except that he did a tad better than zLz. (XD, kidding la, live performance ma, sure the quality will be lower. But he really sounded like he had a sore throat or what, cause the earlier songs all "zhou ying"). And it seemed like the concert itself was actually blessed (or MCR is actually blessed by vampires? -.- since they worshipped them so much), cause it has been drizzling all night but it didn't get heavy. And thanks to that drizzling I am still alive here writing this and did not die from suffocation. And one thing, I love their gigantic speakers! And I would like one in my house too, though I doubt whether it will blast the whole block down...

...

And now the exclusive coverage of MCR in zLz's Crapping Space, bear in mind that you get to read it here first.


Mr. Ethic, the organizer of the concert: Greetings boys, I am really really glad that you guys have decided to hold a concert here in Malaysia, welcome to MY. And thanks a lot for coming, I'm sure the fans here will be pleased by your band's rocking performance tonight.

Gerard, representing the band: How ya' doing, there's no need to thank us. We are here to bring some fcuking action! And I ensure you tonight would be a fcuking awesome night and the fans would be fcuking high!

Mr. Ethic: Ho...ho...ho hold on! There are several things I would like you to take note of regarding the concert itself.

Gerard: Yeay!? I'm paying attention, chill.

Mr. Ethic: We are really glad that you came but you see this is THE Malaysia and... we Malaysian here are of civilized and pretty much well-educated kind of bunch (I am the typical example uhuh), so... If you would, I'd like to ask you to cut down the use of you-know-what-that-word-is during the concert, and if possible, do not use it at all. My PM would not be happy if he hears that a lot you know, haha.

Gerard: FCUK?

Mr. Ethic: Haha... (embarassingly)

Gerard: You serious? So it's to say, it would be really okay if I don't use that word at all, am I right? Are you really sure it's alright with that?

Mr. Ethic: Yes, as long as you don't use that word itself.

Gerard: Alright, deal. Chill.

Mr. Ethic: AHA!! Thanks a lot! You are of big help! I love you MCR.

Gerard: Sure.

Gerard: ...

(During the concert)

Gerard: How ya' all doing Malaysian!? Kuala Lumpur how are you!?

Gerard: Let's get this started! F!U!C!K!!!

Mr. Ethic, watching from distance: !!! *pfff*

Gerard: (I was banned from using that word, I must control myself, I mustn't use it at all) You see, I'm really glad that I have been part of this eff-fing band, and you guys are eff-fing awesome, you know that!?

Mr. Ethic: *faints*

--The End--

I'm not sure whether those songs containing the bad words are sang properly since I couldn't hear a thing they sing at all in such situation (who can?). I only know that I have learnt a new word mama, that was a EFF-FING awesome night!

If I may, I want to tell MCR that...

FCUK YOU MCR

You guys rocked one day of my life. And I would like to give a zillion credits to Mr. Yang Guo, for treating me to such an awesome concert! THANKS DUDE.

Ada discount...

You never knew god, THIS, is a God.

I got myself a poster, everybody gets one.

Gaya, Mutu, Keunggulan

I just couldn't believe it with my own balls and hands... What the hell, I touched it with my own hands!!! I feel so guilty now. As most of you know, I detest smokers. But one thing, you can hate smokers, cigarettes and such, but you CAN'T hate your boss (well literally, you just can't). In case you are wondering, I was asked to buy my boss a packet of Dunhill (large!!!) just a few moments ago...

Shyt, of course I couldn't say "What are you? I hate smokers, get lost before I poke your arse with cigarrettes." He handed me a note of RM 10 and murmured "I wonder you will be caught."
EXCUSE ME!? I'm a perfect N-I-N-E-T-E-E-N years old alright, and you dare look down upon me? (relax)

"How Dunhill got its name."

I grabbed the money and went all the way down. Upon reaching one grocery ran by Indians, I smacked the note on the table and demanded "Please surrender a Dunhill LARGE to me." (alright). To my ultimately-freaking-overly amazement that that Indian cashier rolled his eyes and scanned me thoroughly up and down before asking "Dunhill kecil?". I want to clarify a point here that, it's obvious that he thought I was some 15-years-old-young-lad-who-just-reached-his-puberty-and
-began-to-cast-his-interest-in-like-I-care-"manly"-product
-a.k.a.-cigarettes, that that that... Pfff...

"Besar!" I answered. And then I just grabbed the packet and rushed out (I still couldn't believe I held that with my own hands! I shall disinfect my hands with Dettol later on.
I bet you that that fellow back there was still wondering "whether I'm legal to buy ROKOK" or maybe "Oh Lord, I have killed yet another life today. Forgive me for selling cigarettes to underage." (The reason why I left that shop in hurry was obvious, I didn't want to give him time to hesitate and ask for my I.C. in a sudden, which I really didn't bother to invite further troubles.)

YES! HELL YES I'm legal to buy cigarettes man!... It was such an insult =.= Do I not look like any 19 years old? What the hell is my age then? Gross...

Oh whoever-you-are- Lord, please forgive me for laying my hands on the filthy killer item. I curse swear that I will not do that again (I try my best to run away from all my bosses the next time they run out of cigarettes).

What said is said though, I still advice you guys who dislike smokers to "not hate them". Okay maybe you can, but you shouldn't hate your bosses and fathers (mothers?).

Tayar, Kutu, Keguguran

I just love Japanese songs

NOTE: Adult contents warning, proceed at your own risk.




A big thanks to Supa-V for sharing this great music video, and thanks Yang Guo for your Streamyx connection.

Mind what you put on your pants, please

Just back from my lunch and it was an awful experience. Nope not that I have had the worst meal ever but it was just that... I started to feel like I'm the most outdated person on the planet Earth because I just witnessed one of the topmost dressing styles that I, have never really thought of it myself in my entire life.

Nope, this photo is not Photoshopped, I don't Photoshop, I Paint.

If that picture is not clear enough (anyone teach me Photoshop?), that thing on his pants is a bottle opener. YES! You got me right! And I'm "abso-freaking-lutely" telling the truth (I wanted to snap a shot but aiming your camera phone at someone in public places is never an easy/pleasing thing to do), and I saw it with my own balls! There was a bottle opener hanging nicely on a businessman pants! Mama, what has the world come into? Is this some kind of joke or a trendy new fashion that I didn't know all along? I was seriously choked by the rice and nearly burst out the moment I saw this fellow stood up and paid his bill. Let's rephrase, A-GORGEOUS-BOTTLE-OPENER, WHICH-IS-ONLY-GOOD-FOR-OPENING-BOTTLE, ON-A-FORMAL-ATTIRE! Mr. Opener, what are you doing on a good ol' businessman's body? Did he rape and kill your momma? I swear, I swear that it was neither a Waterman nor a jackknife, it's a bottle opener! And it's a pure bottle opener! And it's a bottle opener! And it's a... I swear curse again...

Though putting a Jackknife along with a formal code is not any better, but... It makes more sense than a BOTTLE OPENER, don't you think so?

Okay I'm not a dropout which opposes the ordinary fashion available at present and I admit that I myself is not much of a "fashion-awared" kinda fellow. And so perhaps that uncle back then was really following the trend and maybe I was the one that is "out of order". Hey, seriously, if anyone here is willing to tell me "Shack, you were wrong. That's the latest fashion available, don't ya know?", I'll immediately accept it as a fact and "acknowledge" it.

But still, crossing a bottle opener (I still couldn't get these words outta my mind, A FREAKING BOTTLE OPENER OH GOSH) with a businessman would only get myself to think of

I love V-Soy

I'll have to come out with better idea of dressing myself in order to not feel being left out like I did just a couple of minutes ago. So, maybe I should start working my coconut out (and my wallet perhaps).

I'm so horny.




Or else, open your own "bottle" all you want.

To hell with Bottle Opener. I want to ask that uncle again, "What's that bottle opener doing on your pants?"

(Click to enlarge image)

Astro :: Making YOUR Life Richer (has nothing to do with me please)

Warning: Long post ahead.

...

Okay... Not that I'm not aware of the changes Astro has made to its channel numbers but... Not until yesterday night that I felt how chaotic it is, for me at the very least.

Skip this: -

RTM 1

- Formerly 1
- Now 101

RTM 2
- Formerly 2
- Now 102

TV3
- Formerly 3
- Now 103

Astro Ria
- Formerly 4
- Now 104

Arab Radio & TV Variety (ART)
- Formerly 5
- Now 111

Astro Vaanavil
- Formerly 6
- Now 201

NTV 7
- Formerly 7
- Now 107

Astro Prima
- Formerly 8
- Now 105

Astro ARUNA
- Formerly 9
- Now 121

Hallmark Channel
- Formerly 10
- Now 702

Discovery Travel & Living
- Formerly 11
- Now 707

Bloomberg Television
- Formerly 12
- Now 519

NHK World
- Formerly 13
- Now 963

TVIQ
- Formerly 14
- Now 552

Astro@15
- Formerly 15
- Now 109

Astro HITZ.TV
- Formerly 16
- Now 705

AXN
- Formerly 17
- Now 701

8 TV
- Formerly 18
- Now 708

Astro AEC
- Formerly 19
- Now 301

Al Jazeera English
- Formerly 20
- Now 513

Zee
- Formerly 21
- Now 108

TV 9
- Formerly 22
- Now 119

Astro KIRANA
- Formerly 23
- Now 122

Astro Ceria
- Formerly 24
- Now 611

Animax
- Formerly 25
- Now 715

BBC Entertainment
- Formerly 26
- Now 731

ETTV Asia
- Formerly 27
- Now 316

CCTV 4
- Formerly 28
- Now 334

WaTV
- Formerly 29
- Now 315

Astro Wah Lai Toi
- Formerly 30
- Now 311

TVBS Asia
- Formerly 31
- Now 317

Phoenix Chinese Channel
- Formerly 32
- Now 312

TVB 8
- Formerly 33
- Now 313

TVB Xing He
- Formerly 34
- Now 314

Jia Yu Channel
- Formerly 35
- Now 304

Astro On Demand Drama Barker
- Formerly 36
- Now 302

Phoenix InfoNews Channel
- Formerly 37
- Now 323

Shuang Xing
- Formerly 38
- Now 324

Celestial Movies
- Formerly 39
- Now 322

HBO
- Formerly 40
- Now 411

Cinemax
- Formerly 41
- Now 412

STAR Movies
- Formerly 42
- Now 413

Astro BoxOffice Movies
- Formerly 48
- Now 951

Astro BoxOffice Movies
- Formerly 49
- Now 952

Discovery Channel
- Formerly 50
- Now 551

Animal Planet
- Formerly 51
- Now 556

National Geographic Channel
- Formerly 52
- Now 553

Discovery Science
- Formerly 53
- Now 554

The History Channel
- Formerly 54
- Now 555

Nickelodeon
- Formerly 60
- Now 612

Disney Channel
- Formerly 61
- Now 615

Cartoon Network
- Formerly 62
- Now 616

Playhouse Disney Channel
- Formerly 63
- Now 613

STAR World
- Formerly 70
- Now 711

MTV
- Formerly 71
- Now 713

Channel [V]
- Formerly 72
- Now 714

Sun TV
- Formerly 73
- Now 211

Astro Vellithirai
- Formerly 74
- Now 202

Sun Music
- Formerly 75
- Now 212

E!
- Formerly 76
- Now 712

Discovery Home & Health
- Formerly 77
- Now 733

Discovery Real Time
- Formerly 78
- Now 734

Crime & Investigation Network
- Formerly 79
- Now 732

Astro Supersport
- Formerly 80
- Now 811

ESPN
- Formerly 81
- Now 812

STAR Sports
- Formerly 82
- Now 813

Golf Channel
- Formerly 83
- Now 815

Eurosport
- Formerly 84
- Now 814

Astro BoxOffice Sports
- Formerly 88
- Now 954

Astro BoxOffice Events
- Formerly 89
- Now 953

CNN
- Formerly 90
- Now 511

CNBC Asia
- Formerly 91
- Now 518

The News Channel
- Formerly 92
- Now 514

BBC World
- Formerly 93
- Now 512

CCTV9
- Formerly 94
- Now 501

17 Digital Radio Channels
- Formerly 101-117
- Now 852-868

astro@play
- Formerly 200
- Now 882

ITV
- Formerly 800
- Now 881

Astro Stocklink
- Formerly 888
- Now 888

Astro OASIS
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 106

Astro On Demand Movie Barker
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 110

Astro AWANI
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 123

Chutti TV
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 213

Makkal TV
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 203

KBS World
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 303

Astro Xiao Tai Yang
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 325

Astro HUA HEE DAI
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 333

Asian Food Channel
- Formerly *NONE*
- Now 703

Christ... 109 of them... 99 changes... and Astro expect us to "get use to" these flashy new 99 numbers...

Why? Okay let's put it this way. I seldom watch TV, but not that I'm blur about every happenings regarding TVs and channels, in this case, Astro. At first glance I thought this changes is made up by some freaking geniuses at the Astro HQ and "it is suppose to make our life easier".

...

Heck, not only we "press more" now (three digits instead of the usual two), not only our buttons and remote controller wears out faster (...), not only has it increases the "risk"/probability that we'd input wrong channel numbers because of the increased digits, not only our precious AA batteries wear out faster because of the increased digits we have to input and the increased mistakes we'd make that we have to press again and again (bla bla bla), IN FACT I don't mind all these! IF, the changes made would have benefit the users "in some way".

In the olden days when we first got our brand new Astro I could get use to the controlling schemes pretty quickly, in fact I've "mastered" Astro even faster than my dad. I knew thoroughly every features in Astro and I was managed to tweak in-and-out of Astro, from Channel Guide to Info to Menu... (hey it was pretty fascinating for a kid with the age of 9 to do just that yea), sometimes even my dad had to ask me for help.

But guess what I get now? The moment I got my hands on the remote controller I started to feel like I was a total idiot or some outdated "oyaji", for I didn't know what to press on the controller for the very first time of my life =_=. First I wanted to watch Wah Lai Toi, and of course I didn't get what I wanted for the first try. Then I tried Animax, and it was no where to be found (despite the fact that I didn't want to resort to the "ok" button and the Channel Guide database, I wanted a pure input of numbers with the controller)!

Gross... At last I gave up and decided to have a look at the brochure (the photos I enclosed above). And to my farting surprise I found no reason for the authority to have actually reorganized the channel numbers cause although it makes sense, but it confuses me more than it convinces me that they have made the right decision (don't know about you guys, but for me, certainly).

Using my "Extraordinary-Inaccurate-Induction-Ability" a.k.a. "EIIA~!", I have broken down the channel categories into X groups based on their "profound reinvention": -

1

- For unspecified and unknown and I-don't-want-to-know reasons Astro has assigned the value "1" for all Malaysian-based channels, such as RTMs and ntv7 all those. Was it that they accepted bribe from Mr. Patriot or they were trying to "flatter" Malaysian or whether they were showing their patriotism, you wouldn't want to know.

2

- The only changes Astro made onto its channel displacement that I LOVE is this. Astro has WISELY collected all Tamil channels under one number, "2". This is good for me as I would just have to avoid pressing it in any cases for I won't bump into any of these ever again. BUT THEN, why would they choose "2", please la get a worse number la, "2" is too good for this =.= (no offense to Indians).

3

- The evilish number, the number that once conquered Malaysian Chinese for years. This number has been assigned to all of the Chinese channels.

4

- The first number that is assigned not based on languages, the number "4" has been assigned to all movie channels. Why "4"? Beats me.

5

- Things starting to get messy here. At first glance this number is obviously chosen for all of the news channels but why the fart I get Discovery Channel, TVIQ, National Geographic, Discovery Science, The History Channel, and Animal Planet here!!?? Shall I call this a collection of news channels or documentary channels? I'll never know.

6

- All kids channels are here, simple and clean.

7

- Another bizarre mix-match of channels. I have given up on thinking for a "category" for this collection of channels after cycling through "Entertainment" and "Documentary" because I just couldn't find a clear similarity among those channels. What do you get when you cross AXN with Discovery Travel and Living and MTV with Crime & Investigation channel??? "Nasi Campur" channels I'd say.

8

- Sports lovers' lucky number. But beware not to bump into Radio channels, Game channel, and the Astro Stocklink channel as they are all preceded with this number too. Which explains why this is another poorly organized rubbish collection...

9

- The last on the list... And the number that puzzles me most. I couldn't get a farting idea what is this number for as I could only see "ABO" everywhere (which stands for Astro Box Office, with various content categories, including Movies, Events, and Sports). But just the moment before I wanted to assign a group name "ABO" for this number... I saw NHK World (a Japanese channel) on the list... Almost immediately I bit my thumb off, sucked my own toe, scratched my head into a bloody pool of question marks, screamed myself to heaven, and declared this groupd a "ABC" instead of the "ABO", they are Air Batu Campur for Christ's sake!!!

When I had a go-through on what has actually gone wrong approaching to the end of the list (when things are getting "disasterrific" as the number increases), I suddenly realized the answer. Why is this happening? Why are the channels which are not supposingly in the same group/category with others are grouped together? This is simply because we human has only created 10 Roman numbers, from 0 to 9. And it doesn't make sense if any of the channel starts with a "0" so Astro has been chopped down to 9 numbers as their choices. In this case they have only managed to group channels into 9 and any further in-depth grouping would require the users to input 4-digits channel numbers. What does that sound to you? It sure sounds like "fart" to me =_=. And this explains why the channels grouping was getting bizzare approaching the last number on the list, hope you get what I mean.

So after all the crapping, the conclusion? They should have stick to their 2-digits system, that's what I think. At the very least, I don't like it, the "evolutionary system". How about you?

On second thought, if I were to group channel numbers, I'd put like, "8" for the so-called "Entertainment News Channels" (ahem, I call them the Gossipers Channels), "3" for Malaysian channels ("m"), and perhaps "69" for adult channels, if there are any.

Note: The above entry is written wholly based on individual's views/perception/feeling/opinion/crap'sion, and is not meant to flame any particular broadcasting company/race/person as it seems. Any likeliness is simply a mere coincidence and the author would not take any responsibility for what I've said/written/crapped about, please proceed with caution and consider a thousand times before you pick up your phone and call Karpal Singh.