Serves you right...

Today is the day, the day where all the past is past and the day that we look forward to the destiny that lies ahead awaiting us. But I don't feel like talking today... Yes it means holiday to us, but I didn't really feel any better. Got really upset, while seeing everyone finished their exam with broad smiles I screwed my paper just because I did not get to finish my revision. Yes I got the tips, everyone did, and it all came out, how 'learning' is learning in Malaysian Education nowadays =.=" I did not put my blame on anyone, cause I know it's my own false. I deserve this, serves me right... Gonna tuck my head into the pillow and sleep early tonight, hope that I can forget this day, that particular moment...



Guilty, no doubt I am. Please tell me how to come clean again...
-Ellegarden

Rest In Peace...

Ok... Today is a slow one... Though steady, but still, unusual...

My dogie passed away this morning, when I'm still snoring away in my blanket. My cold has yet recover and I got a bad head, I has planned to study the whole Management this afternoon no matter what... but then I realized I was wrong, I never did =.=

When I woke up I heard my grandpa is digging something behind my house. That place is trouble and I seldom cross over that land, but out of curiosity I walked out, and saw my grandpa has dug a super huge hole... I knew something was not right, and I actually has made a guess, it's because my dog was not feeling well in the past days... Yesterday we called a veterinarian over to have a look, it took my grandpa RM 115 for three injections and two packets of pills... Yes very expensive indeed, even more costly than my medication expenditure. I used to be very healthy and seldom get sick until I moved to Pee Jay, and even if I did get sick more frequently lately I seldom turn to doctors, not that I hate them but I want to jack up my antibody (a bit exaggerate?) each time I get sick. Well come to think of it it's been years now that I've last visited a doctor, but I'm getting weaker and weaker recently that I always get cold and all sorts of mini minor illness, but still I refused to go to doctor each time I was asked.

Back to my dog, yea I knew that my grandpa is willing to pay that amount of money just to get his beloved dog cured. Our family has a long history of raising dogs for generations, my grandma loves dogs (she's in seventeen skies above now), my grandpa loves dogs, my dad loves dogs, my mom loves dogs, I love dogs. But this started to change as my grandma passed away. Maybe because of her leave, my grandpa has changed drastically. Well, maybe that's because he is bored or what, he used to talk with that dog and that dog got to eat more than usual (when my grandma was still here), let's put it short, basically whatever my grandpa eats that dog will surely gets its share. Even our CNY valuable (unhealthy, but still, expensive, that counts, it hurts...) biscuits, bread, cake, our dinner, deserts, apples, oranges, pineapples, mangoes... Virtually everything... Well if we are the rich kind we would not mind to feed our dog like that but the fact is... Well...

We used to advice our grandpa not to do so, (seriously, it hurts, my dad's wallet =.="), those food is meant for human consumption, sometimes even we ourselves have not yet given the chance to eat the food that we bought that dog gets its part and sometimes, it even finishes them all =.=". My dad even scolded my grandpa for zillion times, yes he will stop doing so for a while, but not for long. Usually though he will feed his dog when we are not home, and we will know when we can't track the whereabout of our food (T.T) but what else can we do? All has to be said is said, we have no choice but just try our best to 'hide' our food =.=" We are not over reacted because we've seen and we know good enough, that my grandpa will even sacrifices his own food for the dog, it eats much more than us!

Well it's not fair to talk bad about the dead XD. Yea we have hated that dog so much (because of our food? XD), but I have a weird feeling when I know that it's dead. I walked towards it and saw it lying down, motionless and breathless. That old Malaysia Flag is still on its top, oh in case you are wondering... YES! Malaysia Flag! My grandpa has wrapped his beloved dog with many many cloth from the nights before when it has fallen sick, including a big flag (it's the standard size that we used to hang at school), though I don't know where in heaven did he get that from =.=" I still remembered my relative asked me when he fetched me home that time, he asked what is the flag doing on our gate, why are we so patriotic, I told him yea we are patriotic, it is my dog's blanket XD. My grandpa used to hang all those cloths on the gate to dry them up before giving his beloved dog at night, as 'mattress' and blanket, including that flag =.=".

So my dad helped my grandpa to bring that dog into his very own grave when it is done, together with that Malaysia Flag =.=", my grandpa even built a small coffin with wood for it inside that grave, oh sweatz... Guess what my grandpa just told me a shocking fact, he said that he found some remaining and skeletons beneath the earth when he digs, and he told me that they used to bury all of their dead dogs behind my house... Come to think of it, the total amount of dogs that we have raised since the completion of this house (including the time before I was born) to date is about 20+ approaching 30... OH SWEATZ.... =.="""" I don't think I'd ever go there again, not if I have to... My dad even said that he will find another new dog...

May you rest in peace, great Bobby.


Seventeen skies away she's falling...
-Ellegarden

人间悲剧。。。

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

小笨钟的时针，

在沉闷的房间里，

扰人的作响，

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

仿佛有一种非同凡响的交响乐，

在与时钟的声响，

胡乱地交集着，

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

仿佛觉得，

这世界，

再也没什么，

值得我去留恋，

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

总是觉得，

好想死，

头好重，

心好痛，

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

怎么好像，

觉得桌子好湿。。。

滴答滴答，

滴答滴答，

天啊我真的真的好想知道，

真的好想好想知道，

好想知道。。。

我的卫生纸呢！？

-z启源z-

Oops... My runny nose just 'ran away'...

One thing is for sure, my tongue will proved to be useful... If it ever gets that long...

I want that (T_T)

And so here am I, drifting away... Into the tide of darkness... That awaits me... In my blanket...


Just let it slide... Dripping away...

-zLz

STD!!

Just recently that I found myself to be inflicted by this STD, Severe Triple Disorders (Hey what were your dirty mind thinking!?), they are namely the Sleeping Disorder, Eating disorder, and Mental disorder. Seriously I’m not joking, this has been getting serious and I doubt I should lead a healthier life from now on… Though I have not undergone any changes in my physical and physiological aspects but I do discover some of the following symptoms on myself…

Sleeping Disorder- Been defined as not being able to sleep well early or not having the mood to sleep during the period between the dusk and dawn, often find oneself starts to feel tired at 4 or 5 in the morning when the chicks (oops) start to call for help (huh?), but wake up at an undesirable time without able to do anything about it (such as fail to “re-sleep”).

Case 114, File S- This guy named zLz which live in a small village, often encounters the stated situation and often find himself crawling to bed at dawn but waking up very early in the morning, such as 9 o’clock, where do he gets all this energy!?... ---CASE UNSOLVED_FILE CLOSE---

Eating Disorder- Been defined as the inability to consume food because of no appetite or not getting hungry no matter how long one has not eaten. Also involves the timing disorder of meals such as eating breakfast and lunch together, or all three together.

Case 115, File E- This guy named zLz which live in a small hut, often encounters the stated situation and often find himself eating breakfast at 3 to 4 o’clock, although woke up early beforehand. He also alleged to not having the feeling of hungry and beg the doctors around his area (which are of no help) to help him to regain his ‘sense of hungry’… ---CASE UNSOLVED_FILE CLOSE---

Mental Disorder- Being related to blogosphere that is occurring so rapidly lately, the victim often find itself not being able to concentrate on what he wants to do such as studying but just can’t keep its fingers away from the keyboard, typing words on Microsoft Words (Bill Gates has made clear this morning that he’s not to be blamed for) and keeps talking crap virtually just about anything, hacking monsters in Diablo, Warcraft, shooting mindlessly in Command and Conquer, and lots more IT related phenomenon.

Case 116, File M- Again, this guy named zLz which encaged himself in a small room everyday alleged that he encountered the stated situation, to find out more, visit the following link… http://zkyz.blogspot.com/... --- CASE UNSOLVED_FILE CLOSE---

After doing so much research on the Internet I can proudly announce that the primary culprit that spread this STD virus to me, it’s none other than my third wife! (Who else would spread a STD? I’m a GOOD boy…) Therefore I have learned my lesson and I make sure I will keep my distance away from my third wife for the time being as to curb the spread of this highly contagious STD…

Long live Tuanku!~

Just got back from campus this afternoon and my Core Duo already yelling “Blog it, blog it, blog it, will ya? Blog it! ...” And so here I am again sitting here ‘bogging’ away… What can I say about the test? It was out of expectation that’s all I can say, it was just harder than I can imagine, especially the ‘fill in the blanks’ and ‘insert the appropriate word forms’ parts, everything doesn’t seem normal to me because it’s not UTAR’s standard at all! Well at least it’s not my standard, I think my paper is a goner =.=” Enough of the crapping, let’s get down to real business, I just picked this up along the road side near Jelatek LRT station when I was waiting for the feeder bus to move its buttocks…

=====================================================================================

Pejabat Perdana Menteri Malaysia,
Federal Government Administration Center,

Bangunan Perdana Putra,

62502 Putrajaya.

Universiti Tak Ada Ruang,

No. 13, Jalan 13/6,

46200 Petaling Jaya,

Selangor Darul Ehsan. 26 April, 2007

Prime Minister: Dato’ Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi,

Att: I Love You Tuanku

Well don’t get me wrong, read carefully it’s “I Love You Tuanku” not “I Love You Badawi”, and don’t think I have mismailed this letter, it’s just that I don’t know the address of Yang Dipertuan Agong so I have no choice but resort to this route. Please help me to pass on this letter to baginda as I have important wishes for him.

2. First of all I want to say ribuan terima kasih to baginda because baginda has made this country to what it is today. Today Malaysia is known as one of the world’s topmost exporters of rubber, latex, palm oil, peppers, foot-wear, electronic equipment, textile, wooden furniture, petroleum, tin, and pirated CDs. This really makes me proud as a Malaysian, to contribute myself as an effort to make my country successful I always refuse to use local products, this is because I wanted to reserve those products for Malaysia’s exportation in the global market, if the countrymen are to practice this awareness and be as cooperate as me, Malaysia will undoubtedly not long from becoming the next top exporter of Cicakman, keris, durian, satay, nasi kandar, nasi lemak, cigarettes, toilet bowl, batteries, handbags, tooth paste, toys, toilet rolls, manpower, bloggers, hackers, and the list goes on… Apparently maybe we should try to use more Levis, Nike, Adidas, LV and Tiffany instead of Poh Kong, self-made Manchester football cap, pasar-malam branded shirts… Leave those for the exportation will ya?

3. Second of all I want to criticize those who stated these so-called ‘facts’, they are really mindless and not true at all to me… Have a look and I hope baginda can cepat-cepat issue order to the authority and take action against these uncivilized people, how dare they insult our country like that!?

(1)Out of all the 5 major banks, only one bank is multi-racial, the rest are controlled by malays
(2) 99% of Petronas directors are malays
(3) 3% of Petronas employees are Chinese
(4) 99% of 2000 Petronas gasoline stations are owned by malays
(5) 100% all contractors working under Petronas projects must be bumis status
(6) 0% of non-malay staffs is legally required in malay companies. But there must be 30% malay staffs in Chinese companies.
(7) 5% of all new intake for government police, nurses, army, is non-malays.
(8) 2% is the present Chinese staff in Royal Malaysian Air Force (RMAF), drop from 40% in 1960
(9) 2% is the percentage of non-malay government servants in Putrajaya. But malays make up 98%
(10) 7% is the percentage of Chinese government servants in the whole government (in 2004), drop from 30% in 1960
(11) 95% of government contracts are given to malays
(12) 100% all business licensees are controlled by malay government e.g. Taxi permits, Approved permits, etc
(13) 80% of the Chinese rice millers in Kedah had to be sold to malay controlled Bernas in 1980s. Otherwise, life is make difficult for Chinese rice millers
(14) 100 big companies set up, owned and managed by Chinese Malaysians were taken over by government, and later managed by malays since 1970s e.g. UTC, UMBC, MISC, etc
(15) At least 10 Chinese owned bus companies (throughout Malaysia, throughout 40 years) had to be sold to MARA or other malay transport companies due to rejection by malay authority to Chinese application for bus routes and rejection for their application for new buses
(16) 2 Chinese taxi drivers were barred from driving in Johor Larkin bus station. There are about 30 taxi drivers and 3 are Chinese in October 2004. Spoiling taxi club properties was the reason given
(17) 0 non-malays are allowed to get shop lots in the new Muar bus station (November 2004)
(18) 8000 billions ringgit is the total amount the government channeled to malay pockets through ASB, ASN, MARA, privatisation of government agencies, Tabung Haji etc, through NEP over 34 years period
(19) 48 Chinese primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000
(20) 144 Indian primary schools closed down since 1968 - 2000
(21) 2637 malay primary schools built since 1968 - 2000
(22) 2.5% is government budget for Chinese primary schools. Indian schools got only 1%, malay schools got 96.5%
(23) While a Chinese parent with RM1000 salary (monthly) cannot get school-text-book-loan, a malay parent with RM2000 salary is eligible
(24) 10 all public universities vice chancellors are malays
(25) 5% - the government universities lecturers of non-malay origins had been reduced from about 70% in 1965 to only 5% in 2004
(26) Only 5% is given to non-malays for government scholarships over 40 years
(27) 0 Chinese or Indians were sent to Japan and Korea under "Look East Policy"
(28) 128 STPM Chinese top students could not get into the course that they aspired i.e. Medicine (in 2004)
(29) 10% place for non-bumi students for MARA science schools beginning from year 2003, but only 7% are filled. Before that it was 100% malays
(30) 50 cases whereby Chinese and Indian Malaysians, are beaten up in the National Service program in 2003
(31) 25% is Malaysian Chinese population in 2004, drop from 45% in 1957
(32) 7% is the present Malaysian Indians population (2004), a drop from 12% in 1957
(33) 2 millions Chinese Malaysians had emigrated to overseas since 40 years ago
(34) 0.5 million Indian Malaysians had emigrated to overseas
(35) 3 millions Indonesians had migrated into Malaysia and became Malaysian citizens with bumis status.
(36) 600000 are the Chinese and Indians Malaysians with red IC and were rejected repeatedly when applying for citizenship for 40 years. Perhaps 60% of them had already passed away due to old age. This shows racism of how easily Indonesians got their citizenships compare with the Chinese and Indians
(37) 5% - 15% discount for a malay to buy a house, regardless whether the malay is rich or poor
(38) 2% is what Chinese new villages get compare with 98% of what malay villages got for rural development budget
(39) 50 road names (at least) had been change from Chinese names to other names
(40) 1 Dewan Gan Boon Leong (in Malacca) was altered to other name (e.g. Dewan Serbaguna or sort) when it was being officially used for a few days. Government try to shun Chinese names. This racism happened in around year 2000 or sort
(41) 0 temples/churches were built for each housing estate. But every housing estate got at least one mosque/surau built
(42) 3000 mosques/surau were built in all housing estates throughout Malaysia since 1970. No temples, no churches are required to be built in housing estates
(43) 1 Catholic church in Shah Alam took 20 years to apply to be constructed. But told by malay authority that it must look like a factory and not look like a church. Still not yet approved in 2004
(44) 1 publishing of Bible in Iban language banned (in 2002)
(45) 0 of the government TV stations (RTM1, RTM2, TV3) are directors of non-malay origins
(46) 30 government produced TV dramas and films always showed that the bad guys had Chinese face, and the good guys had malay face. You can check it out since 1970s. Recent years, this tendency becomes less
(47) 10 times, at least, malays (especially Umno) had threatened to massacre the Chinese Malaysians using May 13 since 1969
(48) 20 constituencies won by DAP would not get funds from the government to develop. Or these Chinese majority constituencies would be the last to be developed
(49) 100 constituencies (parliaments and states) had been racistly re-delineated so Chinese voters were diluted that Chinese candidates, particularly DAP candidates lost in election since 1970s
(50) Only 3 out of 12 human rights items are ratified by Malaysia government since 1960
(51) 0 - elimination of all forms of racial discrimination (UN Human Rights) is not ratified by Malaysia government since 1960s
(52) 20 reported cases whereby malay ambulance attendances treated Chinese patients inhumanely, and malay government hospital staffs purposely delay attending to Chinese patients in 2003. Unreported cases may be 200
(53) 50 cases each year whereby Chinese, especially Chinese youths being beaten up by malay youths in public places. We may check at police reports provided the police took the report, otherwise there will be no record
(54) 20 cases every year whereby Chinese drivers who accidentally knocked down malays were seriously assaulted or killed by malays
(55) 12% is what ASB/ASN got per annum while banks fixed deposit is only about 3.5% per annum.

4. And then I want to thank baginda for making the Anti-Rasuah Campaign a successful one, a corruption-less government with transparency in procedures is a promising boost for a better Malaysia. When we were blocked by a traffic police last few days that uncle so good lar… He said he will give us chance, and when my dad took out a RM 20 note he said “No no, saya *flashes his badge* ANTI-RASUAH!” Isn’t he is the honest type!? He then said “Aku tulis la?” My dad was wondering “Tulis la lu kata tak mau pun…” “Ooh… Tulis lar?” Then my dad flashes the RM20 note again, “Bang haus kah? Biar dik beli minum dekat sana?” “Ooh tak payah lah, bang beli sendiri, pergi la… Ingat lain kail jangan pandu terlalu cepat, dan jangan rasuah polis ya? Terutamanya bila di hadapan Besar punya… *points to an officer with higher rank at the other side which seem to just turned his butt away*” “Oh tau bang, terima kasih ya.” “Sama-sama” Isn’t this just amazing? Our society is once again a step ahead in curbing the ill trend of corruption!

5. Lastly I want to sing our national anthem in honor of baginda installation,

Negaraku,

Tanah tumpahnya darahku,

Rakyat hidup,

Bersatu dan maju,

Rahmat bahagia,

Tuhan kurniakan,

Raja kita,

Selamat bertakhta…

Thank you very much.

Anonymous.

=====================================================================================

Maybe the Prime Minister just got too frustrated and threw away this letter in the middle of nowhere?

(My headache is getting serious… I don’t know what the heck was I writing man…)

Breaking up the rules we made, we are so unsocialized…

-Ellegarden

Shh... Keep it to yourself will ya?

Don’t know what the heck happened to me today, I’ve been sleeping for the whole afternoon and yet feel like I’m missing something… The worst disaster ever has happened, I’ve found myself infected with this ‘blogging pandemic’ and I got so addicted with it, what the…

I got the tips for tomorrow’s test and yet I don’t want to start studying, man that’s how I behaved throughout the semesters. I’m pity for those who didn’t get the tips (~nobody asks~), as they are dying to find tons of tips just to buck up in the last minute. Seeing me this scumbag still chilling up here and not doing anything about the test for tomorrow, I fear those who have been struggling might want to put a few punch in my face.

About this ‘tips’ thingy, I’ve been curious about how actually they got themselves into the people. I’ve never questioned about the sources of those tips, but in the bottom of my heart I’m really lost, where the heaven did they came from!? Since I was always told by my friends not to spread them around, and yes of course I promised and never do so (seriously), it’s just that sometimes they didn’t ask me to keep it to myself, so whenever people asked I will tell. So it was really funny when Mr. Tortoise sent me the tips for Web Page Design on Saturday and stated “warning: don’t spread it out”, I was like “well, okay…”, it really made me feel embarrassing and guilty when many of my friends kept asking me for tips but I just acted that I didn’t know nor receive anything (as I said, if the author of the information wants me to seal my mouth, I will not hesitate to do so), even until the moment when I sit with them half an hours before the test I still pretended “oh really!?~ Where did you hear that from? Oh I didn’t know! Sei lo… Never study this part wo…” You know what I discovered? It was the same tips I got. =.= What the… I wonder how ‘secret’ are ‘secrets’ nowadays…

A similar incident once happened among the TD 1s… A so-called ‘love god’ from our class (‘qing shen’ in mandarin and ‘qing xing’ in Cantonese)… Ahem I sure hope he doesn’t read blogs… This Mr. QX or Mr. QS or LG or whatever actually wanted to hook up with a girl from other class… We have known this guy well, he has gone through many (not really) and always discuss about the ‘L’ thingy with the guys in the class. Well I didn’t say I don’t like him, he’s my friend too. It’s just that he’s the high profile type which will just make sure that his every deed and movement (regarding to the ‘L’ thingy) gets the very attention of classmates… I don’t know about my classmates, but sometimes it really frustrates me (sorry), and got all tired about his yada yada on this topic. And it comes to a point where he succeeded in getting that girl. How ‘coincidentally’ that I online that night and how ‘coincidentally’ that he shared his little ‘secret’ with me.

Mr. QX: Hey how are you?

zLz: Fine. Wassup

Mr. QX: Nothing, just got really busy and ‘fan’ these few days…

zLz: Oh?

Mr. QX: Khai Yuen, I see you as my friend only I tell you this ah…

zLz: Anything troubles you?

Mr. QX: I… Not single anymore…

zLz (not that again…): Oh? Congratz!~

And the yada yada goes on… It was something like “how I got up with her” or “there are problems between us” or something like that…

Nah don’t get me wrong I’m not that busy-body (till a certain degree, yes) till I want to dig up all the stories between them before I could let him go and get some sleep, I’m not that interested in his story and their development anyway. AND THEN the next day, everyone else starts talking about his girlfriend. It really surprised me that his so-called ‘secret’ spread out so easily, I wondered whose ‘evil deed’ was it. And then we came to a point where we sat together in a car (I think it was on the way to Mid Valley for a movie… Ghost Rider I suppose?) and start talking about his girlfriend, then we asked among ourselves “Hey how did you get to know about his girlfriend?” “He told me himself, I never thought you will know! He said he only told me this, ‘seeing me as a friend’ wo…” We kept silence… For another 30 seconds, before we start bursting out our laughter and the yapping goes on…

Yeah that’s what happened, I don’t want to compliment on this matter too much, I believe tuan-tuan dan puan-puan can judge on this very well and understand what actually happened…

Who say we can’t keep a secret? Who actually spreads them? The buyers? Or the sellers? The verdict is yours… Hehe…

Oh gosh my hands really hurt… Is this a result of clicking too much in Diablo or typing so much in my blog? =.=”

The purpose of being...

Munching my breakfast “Giant’s Pick & Mix – Sweet Bun, RM 1.99” I had a funny thought about this, why are people living here? What is the purpose of life? Bakers bake bread, lecturers give lectures, hawker sells food, officials’ corruption, students attend classes, professional athletes keep breaking records… I believe the ultimate goal of life is, well, though sounds silly, to become rich, or richer, and get all the things you desire.

Parents always nagging about studying hard, so that I can get a good job in the future and change the fate of our family. They also pressure me into getting the full scholarship for my degree course (though I’ve made clear that it’s impossible now), just that I could continue studying… For knowledge? Nope, it’s for money. It’s tediously frustrating to keep being annoyed by the money matter that troubles me so much that I once thought to give up. But I know I can’t, because I’m the only son in this family. I got so disappointed when I knew my CGPA in the second semester, though got improvement, but only by 1. Seriously I never thought that I could get a B for my Public Speaking, yeah I know my speech was hopeless and my English was ‘fart’-up, but hey I thought I could have at least get an A- in such standard of university!? Yeah I agree that getting a scholarship is something you should be proud of and feel honor about, but it’s different case for me. Well frankly I don’t need that ‘honor’, all I need is the content, the money ^^. So please tuan-tuan dan puan-puan, if you know you don’t need that sum of money, leave it, reserve for those who really need it, you can get your so-call ‘honor’ in the future when you succeed like Bill Gates or whatever :p … But now it really doesn’t matter anymore, I can’t get the scholarship anyway, even if I get a whopping GPA 4.0 this semester (which is ‘HELL NO WAY!~’), my CGPA only goes up by one, which is 3.6. (T_T) Well I deserve it since I never tried to be hardworking at all, not knowing what will happen in the coming months (since I don’t know where to get that amount of money to pay for my first semester fee, which is around RM3k), I moved on…

Speaking of Bill Gates, I’m really interested in meeting him personally and ask him a question. “What is your purpose of living at the moment?” Seriously it’s crap if he tells me that he will keep earning money, what for!? Everyone on this planet is struggling to climb up the social ladder just to distinguish themselves from rich and poor, well it’s crap that some people say they do something solely for fame, fame comes with money and fortune okay!? Frankly I don’t believe those sh*t, unless you go on a shooting frenzy like that Korean kid Cho and put a hole in everyone else’s brain in UTAR, that’s what I call ‘making a name using limited resources’, he doesn’t have to be as rich as Bill Gates, but hey now every corner of Earth is talking about him! Pardon me, I got so excited this morning, don’t have the oom to study, just feel like crapping around. Till then…

And hey guys thanks for the comments, nice to meet you Jess ;-)

I never did...

There is a great reason why I wanted to rush my blog in just one day, not more than that. This is because I don’t want to give myself another chance to find reasons (well, time is usually the culprit) just to get away from the tasks that I’ve taken or have decided to accomplish. Throughout the years I’ve not been able to fulfill the promise that I made to myself, until now only I realized how lame the reasons I had in store for not being able to really complete my wishes or tasks these years.

I wanted to learn guitar properly, I never did. I wanted to learn piano, I never did. I wanted to learn Japanese, I never did. I wanted to watch Evangelion for the third time , I never did. I wanted to study properly, I never did. I wanted to stop playing DoTA, I never did. I wanted to balance out my gaming time and study time, I never did. I wanted to stop going Cyber Cafe, I never did. I wanted to stop skipping classes, I never did. I wanted to treat Mr. Tortoise and Miss Cat to a meal, I never did. I wanted to hang out with Mr. Tortoise and Miss Cat together, I never did. I wanted to find my favorite Japanese artists’ albums, I never did. I wanted to watch Death Note anime and movies, I never did. I wanted to watch Da Vinci Code, I never did. I wanted to read Harry Potter, I never did. I wanted to study today for my exam, I never did. I wanted to stop playing games this week, I never did. I wanted to score well in exams, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to her, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to her, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to her, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to her, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to him, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to him, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to him, I never did. I wanted to stop talking to him, I never did. I wanted to stop thinking about them, I never did. I wanted to treat him to a meal, I never did. I wanted to meet her, I never did. I wanted to sleep earlier every day, I never did. I wanted to play basketball regularly, I never did. I wanted to gym regularly, I never did. I wanted to be alone, I never did. I wanted to be serious, I never did. I wished to tell her the truth, I never did...

I never did...

Here goes the legend...

It's already 12.14 in the morning and I'm still stuck with this blog thingy. This is my first time blogging, I've never written a diary nor journal before this and thanks to my friend 'Mr. Friendly-neighborhood a.k.a. Mr. Tortoise' (you know yourself =.=) I've been dragged into this chaotic, tormenting, tiring, yet addictive routine of so called 'blogging', I was quite excited and sort of anxious when I first stepped my leg in here cause I had a fear that I might be leaving a blank blog for years without anything in it given that I'm not good in typing nor generating ideas. I have spent almost 3 hours sitting in front of my newly bought laptop just to have a twist around the blogging site and to make sure I can finish it with at least one post today, well not that I can't do my blog in the other day (as for now it's exam season) but I just can't forcefully squeeze this into another day because I'm quite a 'busy body', yeah I have a busy body that keeps moving around if you don't ask it to stop, and a busy head that keeps poking into nonsense and happenings around it just to make sure it didn't miss out any important and 'useful' information, and a pair of busy hands which just can't keep to themselves, only to find their joy on keyboards and joystick. Hypocritically though my legs are the only parts of my body that are not as busy and somehow 'lazy', they can hardly move even for a short distance from my house to the market which is just a few meters from here, if somehow they are forced to move they will act unwillingly and occasionally stimulate their neighbor, Mr. Mouth to start the nag nag anti-movement demonstration.

Listening to 'Pureness' by Nana Kitade now, one of my favorites. Well I have been struggling all night along and kept telling myself to go to sleep, I have been burning my grandma's oil since last two night (speaking of sleeping late, I just read a post by my course mate that sleeping late causes severe damage to our livers... Hmm...), and yes I'm tired, way tired. Just got through my first paper for my final semester in foundation year last two night. I've long been questioning UTAR's (short for Universiti Tak Ada Ruang, well some call it Universiti Tunku Abdul Rahman, my current Uni.) system of management and control, since the arrangement of timetable in first semester, the arrangement of classes, lecturers, events, holidays, tests, class and test venues, almost everything. And yet it never tries to prove to me that I have misjudge them by once again arranging senseless examination schedule, guess what, we took our paper at 5.30 pm!!! Now how mindless does that sounds to you? *curse curse!* I even starved my way home that night, with poor lunch and the rush to revise my last minute work I doubt how did I actually got through the test in such condition.