Dragon Tales - When The More is Not Always the Merrier

A story of a little boy who wanted to know the sum of one plus one. First he asked a physicist, who said, If one is matter, and the other is antimatter, then the answer is zero. But if one is a critical mass of uranium and the other is a critical mass of uranium, then that’s an explosive question. Unenlightened, the boy asked a biologist. She said, Are we talking bacteria, mice, or whales? And for how long? In desperation, the boy hired an accountant, who peered closely at him and said, Hmmm. One plus one? Tell me, how much do you want it to be?

WARNING: You wouldn't want to read this if you are in a hurry, it's a useless long list of crap I've written to kill my time. You are warned.

This morning was a weird one, apart from the fact that I'll be taking a test (which has become part of my (everyone's) life every Friday), I saw some funny thing on my way to campus and this inspired me of many things. Okay here's how it goes, when the MC bus took its first stop at PA Block... I saw a shocking scene, no no don't get me wrong nobody was being beaten up or robbed or killed or whatsoever, but then it was already shock enough for me. The truth is... There was only one girl got down from that point =.=""

Okay maybe it doesn't make sense, but please listen to my story first and you will understand eventually.

Okay I'm never been good in story telling so I think here's how it should go... Ahem...

A long long time ago, in a far far away galaxy, "FOR ALL STARS, THERE EXIST" (sorry... over dosage of tests...) a star named the Earth. On the 27th of June, 1988, there born a weirdo baby. Everything seemed to be normal and ordinary but in fact it was not so, in a way. Was this baby special you asked? Yes he is, but he was not the only one. And this is only the beginning of a horrific disaster that strikes every single being on Earth.

The year, 1988. Is was the Year of Dragon. Yes, dragon. The greatness of what a dragon symbolizes has been carved onto every single Chinese's heart throughout the centuries, and it goes on and on... It was believed that those who are given birth in the very year of dragon will bring fortune and prosperity, both to him/herself and its family (or people around it?). Independence, leadership, great strength, you name it; dragon is always being associated with whatever good calamity and quantity that a person has. All in all, in the context of Chinese, "Dragon Rocks!", "wo men dou shi long de chuan ren!".

AND SO, a strange, special, yet not surprising phenomenon will occur in every twelve years in a human lifespan; each time the Year of Dragon comes, Chinese will act as though they have been given great motivation or strength that they'd "race" (in a way) to give birth to as many "long de chuan ren" as they could. "Aiyo Sam Gu... Your baby is soooo cute yo... Aiyoyo son of dragon pulak..." "Haha... Nothing la, you can also get one ma" "Aiyo so good har? Dragon wo..." and so and so and so... "Our neighbor got a newborn dragon!" "Oh we must not be left out! Ah Chai!!!~~~ "Cooperate" with your darling and get me a dragon a.s.a.p! No no not "a", I meant as many as possible! And take that as my order!"

Alright you got the word, "Kiasu" is the term. AND SO, one kiasu leads to another kiasu, and another, and more and more, and more and more and more. Okay I call it the "Power Two Theorem", 2^4^6^n...(2n), n->infinity. Imagine, out of 6.6 billion of total population, there are about 0.9 billion of Chinese, and if according to the birthrate of 20.09 births/1000 population... You can expect a triple that amount in the year of dragon because of all those kiasu-ness, so simple maths tells us that just in the year of dragon itself, world population is gonna increase by a whopping 0.3 billion! And that's not all, the year of dragon is gonna repeat itself for every 12 years, and so Earth is approaching its capacity limit faster and faster!

Though it is believed that people born with the zodiac of dragon lives a bright future, BUT, these are the facts that I discovered

1) The year 1988-One month old.
One word to describe, "Crybaby". But for the dragons even their cries are outstanding and
different from the ordinary kids, instead of the conventional "Waaa Waaa" we have the
"Woo woo" and "Ooo Ooo"

2) The year 1989-One year old.
What more can I say, the first birthday in a dragon's life, cakes, sweets, toys, hugs, kisses, sleep, and sleep, and sleep and sleep, sleep and sleep. Sleep.

3)The year 1990-Two years old.
Erm... Stuck your fingers into a stand-fan and start yelling "waa waa" or "ooo aaa"?

4)The year 1991-Three years old.
"Sorry ma'am, we are out of powder."
"What!? How irresponsible! What would my son feeds on then!?"
"Sorry ma'am, as you know this is the year of dragon."<--overpopulation of babies.
Dragons ARE special aren't we? So it wouldn't surprise if we start to walk and talk now and that we are faster than YOU?
"Mom can I yell at you now?"<--baby language) "Mummy"<--adult language) "Ooh how clever" "Hey I peed!"<--baby language) "Waa..."<--adult language) "Good boy. Good boy doesn't cry"
Man... Us the dragons get our compliment even if we peed!

5)The year 1992-Four years old, Pre-Elementary (home learning).
"Come and follow mummy say... "One, two, three, four, five, six..."
"Don't want! I hate you mummy!"
"Don't say that. Come... Mummy give you a kiss, now listen..."
"Your mouth stinks!"
Oh oh... Dragons ARE special.

6)The year 1993-Five years old, Elementary Year 1.
"Darling, show mummy what have you learn in school today?"
"Shit!"
"What?"
"Shit la you!"
"Huh!?"
Believe me nowadays kids especially the bunch after the dragons learn the word "shit" way faster than the previous generation... And I just witnessed that.<--overpopulation of kids that caused the teachers do not even have the time to bother about what were the kids learning after all, even it means bad words.

7)The year 1994-Six years old, Elementary Year 2.
The dragons finally graduated from the kindergarten. And a dragon is not a dragon without some extraordinary deeds on this special day.
"I'm gonna marry you when I get older!"
Said a dragon to another dragon. And another extraordinary answer from another dragon.
"Who cares about you shit"<--overpopulation of female kids that caused girls looked down on boys as they have much more choices out there.
...

8)The year 1995-Seven years old, Primary Standard 1.
"Sorry ma'am, we are full."
"What!? I want to register my son into your school!"
"No I'm afraid we can't do that, cause we are full"
"..."
"If you are full, why don't you shit at toilet."<--overpopulation of kids caused insufficient space in school and frustration among the parents.

9)The year 1996-Eight years old, Primary Standard 2.
"Aunty, I want a hot dog."
"Sorry we are out."
"How about a fish ball?"
"I'm afraid we can't, it's out as well."
"Then what do you have?"
"We have hot dogs and fish balls as usual, but we are out"
"..."<--overpopulation of kids caused insufficient food supply in the canteen

10)The year 1997-Nine years old, Primary Standard 3.
"Sei lo... PTS wo..."
"Yalo yalo, they said if success you can jump very high wo..."
"Huh? How high wo?"
"Above the standard 4's head lo."
"Wah that sounds cool, as they have been bullying us."
And it turns out to be... FAILED
Dragons' style, even they said they want to do something and they meant it, the possibility of them getting it done is... 3 out of 10.

11)The year 1998-Ten years old, Primary Standard 4.
As a result of overpopulation back then in the year of dragon and as a initiative of cutting cost as the school reduced the amount of classrooms designate for specific forms... Students got cramped together, and denser.
"You stupid shit, if you have passed that PTS earlier you should have begone, stop squeezing in this limited space already!"
"The same goes to you shit!"
Dragon's style, never say "I'm sorry".
Naive.

12)The year 1999-Eleven years old, Primary Standard 5.
"What the heck is UPSR???"
"U Pee n u Sucks Remember?"

13)The year 2000-Twelve years old, Primary Standard 6.
AHA!~ Another Year of Dragon! And you do the maths again, another 0.3 billion into the poll.
"Why did you do so badly in your pre-UPSR test? If so you will never pass and have to sit for Remove!"
"Sorry teacher my brain was infected by Y2K last night..."
What said is said, but still we managed to get pass the Remove. Dragon's style, sometimes we still get what we want, by luck.

14)The year 2001->2005-Thirteen years old to Seventeen years old, Secondary Form 1 to 5.
*Censored*
*"Invalid command name, file not found, please try again later"*
Dragon's style, we tend to hide our darken Secondary Years...

15)The year 2006-Eighteen years old, Foundation/Form Six/Diploma/Certificate.
"Holy dragon! What in the world..."
"What's wrong with these people!? Where in hell did they come from!?"
So much as to say, overpopulation and extreme birthrate back in the year of dragon have once again bring these people under one roof again. This is a place between hell and heaven, where in hell as there are too many, i mean TOO MANY dragons gather under one room and cramp altogether in one place all at the same time, and the dragons had a hard time to search for nice food due to shortage of GOOD QUALITY food because of high demand and low supply, and that the authority has no other choice than to drag the tuition hours and make it longer to accommodate all the students as to provide enough classrooms for them; where in heaven as there are too many students in a classroom that the lecturer won't even notice that there are actually quite a number of dragons "escaped" to their respective wonderlands, and that dragons can make lots more friends here in contrast to other people bearing different zodiac signs. Everytime the dragons have to wait for a bus, get up to the bus, get down from the bus; queue up for food; queue up for toilet; wait for using computers; queue up for results and etc etc, they would have to do it differently than the others. Secret Recipe, KFC, Mc D, Kenny R, SP, MV, KLCC, TS, 1U, virtually anywhere, is cramped with dragons, as this is the favorable season for mating too (which in turn comes a GOOD QUESTION, where in heaven is my first love!? =.=). The road is cramped with dragons too, all with their respective rides, Wira Kancil Saga, Wira and Kancil and Saga, and Wira Kancil Saga. LRTs are cramped, with lots of lots of dragons. Concerts K-Box libraries... And that's not all, cinemas would be cramped too as the dragons are all turning 18, they were too excited about "18sx,18sg,18pl"...

16)The year 2007-Nineteen years old, Degree/Form Six/Diploma/Certificate
Nothing much improved except the fact that the dragons have grown taller and bigger, thus occupying more and more spaces. And that their brain grew smaller and smaller in contradict.

Not so "prosperous" to me at all...

And imagine the huge contrast of when nowadays MC bus stops at PA Block with the previous year; now there are at most 4 to 5 students get down from the bus while other mostly get down to PC and PD (degree students as to say); unlike the year before, when the bus stopped at PA, there used to be lots more student getting down, like about three quarters of the students.
And now we even have to fight for space to eat and use the facilities such as computer labs and library and study rooms, Universiti Tak Ada Ruang is the most suitable name for this "Dragon Lair", as I can't really find many good unoccupied spaces nowadays.

Praise be to Dragon.

Another cold and dry Friday midnight... Drift drift drift...