Do they have the words when your heart is aching like burning hell?

"Don't you think you can behave better than this?"

Again, another pointless conversation with my mum leaded to nowhere. Well, it's not like she's saying this for the first time, she's been repeating this for like, the fourth time I think.

It was about my social/people skill and attitude (again, this sounds so familiar, one of my friends pointed this out to me lately too). Well basically it's just like I seem pissed all the time and I can hardly smile recently, making me bloody hard to be approached and people started running away from me, well at least that's what she perceived.

But it's true, I felt that at campus too. Hah, pathetic.

"People starting to think that you are so Chun now, and couldn't be bothered by making friends. At least smile a bit la. And you hardly greet people especially the elders, what happened to you? You weren't like this when you were a kid, you were way cuter back then... Sigh..."

I didn't really know what to respond, I just let off a dry cough and replied "It's not like I wanted this yea, I wanted to make friends too. But it's just so goddamn stupid to smile all the time, when you're not up to anything at all. Guys might think you've got something wrong with your coconut (or cock), gals might think that you're a pervert (try smiling to gals all the time without particular reason). And it's not like I wanted to be born with a face that can look sooo ass-kicking killer and scary when I'm not smiling yea?"

What am I trying to tell you here? Nothing much really, except that don't take my "cruel looking" face too seriously lar, you know I'm friendly right (xP)?

Okay, this is it. I've decided. Look, this is how I gonna improve it. Next time you see me not smiling when I'm talking to or looking at you, pinch me.

No, I'm serious.

Pinch my hands and not elsewhere please.